*flirts with mirror*
do you wonder if god ever thinks ‘woah these humans were kinda a bad idea’
pledge allegiance to the swag
it’s actually a really fun game i like to play..
it’s called “delete the number of a friend who you always text first and they always seem uninterested in talking and see how long it takes for a random number to text you back and die before that even happens”
trust me. been playing the game with some of you for a looooooooong time. so i’m winning.
now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday
the fuck am i suppose to do with this
i have honestly never laughed so hard in my entire life
how does the math book say goodbye?
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Perks of Being a Wallflower
love this book